• 15% of men lack having any close friends (versus 3% in 1990).
• 21% of men receive weekly emotional support from a friend – roughly half that of what is reported by women
• Less than half of men report that they are satisfied with the size of their friend group

Why do friendships for men matter? Where can we even find the time amongst all of our commitments and comforts? Developing friendships as adults can be very difficult. As children we were constantly surrounded by other children in school and other activities that provided us with shared experiences, schedules and goals. When seeking friendships as adults we hope to find someone with similar interests, schedules and an equal willingness to spend time together. Unfortunately, the risks associated with our time, ego and available energy prove too great for many as the lure to retreat to the endless offering of technology-provided entertainment exists. That doesn’t mean that men still don’t try to get their needs met.

For example, among men with children, an interesting trend has emerged where parents commit thousands of dollars and countless weekends attending their children’s sporting events across the state and country. Why? Men see this as an opportunity to support their children’s interests while gaining consistent, organized time with family and friends who travel to these events. But what happens when a child becomes injured or loses interest in the sport? The previously reliable link to social engagement is threatened, and familial pressure may build for the child to remain in an activity that no longer benefits them. Furthermore, families lacking the financial means to participate in club sports miss out on these opportunities altogether. These men lose out in two ways: they are unable to attend these events, and they miss building relationships with the fathers who do participate due to the demands of their children’s schedules.

Single men are drawn to the Yampa Valley by its natural beauty and recreational opportunities. When these individuals move to this area they often leave behind existing social, spiritual and familial networks that provide countless benefits that may or may not be appreciated or tangible. These individuals face economic pressures to work multiple jobs to maintain their lifestyle, leaving less time and energy to connect with others. The long existing transient population dynamic has led locals to develop an emotional wall, often making it difficult for newcomers to break into social groups.

Both single men and those in relationships / families experience isolation just the same. This isolation leads to heightened substance abuse, depression, anxiety and in some cases, suicidality. The suicide rate is 75% higher than the state average in Routt County and 200% higher in Moffat County. These deaths have rattled the Yampa Valley in so many ways. The men who have been lost were of different ages and played a variety of roles in the communities that they lived, making it difficult to know where to start from an intervention standpoint.

Friendships between men offer benefits provided by no other type of relationship. Men can experience loyalty, play, vulnerability and constructive feedback in ways they cannot with their romantic partners. Plus, with sex not being part of the equation, men can engage their friends without any ulterior motives. Healthy friendships contribute to a healthier brain, body, and community, and are a critical part of men’s existence.

Where do men start? The friendship “dating” scene can feel like a false start for many, but there is hope. The aforementioned youth club activities offer parents a well-planned experience where the activities, schedule, and location of the events have been determined. No one family is responsible for hosting these activities; however, each family contributes tremendously by way of their energy and comradery. Similar offerings exist by way of men’s groups in the Yampa Valley.

One example is the Steamboat Men’s Circle, a bi-weekly meeting of men from all walks of life where celebrations and challenges are shared and explored. They play and go on adventures together and get this – it’s free. The group meets every first and third Thursday of the month from 6:30 to 8:30pm at Steamboat Fit on Anglers Drive.

The Yampa Valley offers a number of groups based on faith (check with your local congregation), community service, sports, substance use recovery and connecting those in retirement.

These groups do the hard work of providing a location, schedule, and focus. All men have to do is show up and be open to trying something new. Their health depends on it.

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